Which Horror Movie Villains Make the Best Hiking

This is the time of year when we voluntarily binge watch horror movies, then jump at the slightest rustle of leaves, struggle to fall asleep at night, and hate on the monsters in the movies.

But you know the saying “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?” Well why don’t you give that a try! The next time you go on a hike, try inviting one of these villains along to protect you from your own shadow.

Here’s our ghoulish lineup:

The Blair Witch—She knows her way around the forest, but may decide to lure you into a corner of a basement.

Michael Myers—He sure won’t talk your ear off!

Freddy Kruger—Tells great campfire stories before bedtime. Just don’t ask him to scratch your back.

Leatherface—Too attached to his chainsaw. Too much of a liability to bring around innocent trees.

Hannibal Lecter—If you’re into fishing, he’d be great at cleaning the fish for dinner!

Cujo—He’s just a sweet puppy who’s misunderstood. Can keep wild animals away from you, too.

The demons in Hill House—Their identity was never revealed. Too much of a liability to bring into the woods.

Jason Voorhees—Make sure the hike doesn’t go near any water. He’s already drowned once.

Frank the Rabbit from Donnie Darko—He’s a rabbit. Everyone likes rabbits. Just steer clear of coyotes and hawks.

Jack Torrance—Already prefers living in the woods in isolation. Isn’t afraid of snowstorms. Keep sharp objects away from him.

Jigsaw—Perfect partner for a rainy day in the tent or cabin. Likes to play games!

Pennywise—Seems friendly enough. Balloons are bad for the environment, though. Keep those at home.

Norman Bates—Only if his mother comes.

Chucky—Obviously yes! You’re supposed to get kids outside from a young age!

Babadook—Way too creepy. Keep that monster in the closet!

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Tanya Twerdowsky
tanya@adventurewithkeen.com
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